Heartache

My heart aches for the students, parents, and educators in Connecticut. As many times as we practice for these types of scenarios within our schools, never could a horror of this magnitude be imaginable. I know the news of today's tragedy has been emotional for all Americans, and as an educator myself, this hits very close to home.

I am reminded of a serious lockdown 10 years ago at my school when I was student teaching. The principal told me to lock the door, close the blinds, keep the kindergarten students in a corner and not to open the door for anyone including parents. As I closed the blinds to our classroom, I saw a swarm of police officers surrounding the campus. Being a teacher means remaining calm for your students in any situation. I read them books and continued with the routine of our day just slightly altered. It wasn't until a briefing after school that I found out the father of one of the students in my class and husband of a teacher on campus had committed a homicide and then come to our campus. He was apprehended and no one was injured, but the fear and uncertainty of that day is still a vivid memory.

I don't think it could be possible for Brian and me to ever take a day with Drake and Kennedy for granted, but I do know that we are holding them a little tighter tonight.

Gran's Birthday!

Today is Gran's birthday! I will not be saying her age because women reach a certain age where it becomes impolite to broadcast without their permission; however, I will say that she does NOT look her age. Drake and Kennedy were able to celebrate with her for part of the day before she headed home, and I am regretting that I did not snap a picture of her with two of her grand-babies before she left. Good thing she will be back on Monday, and I can do it then. Better late than never.

Drake's sweet nurse brought blueberry muffins this morning just as a special birthday treat. She is so thoughtful! We missed her yesterday, but we are happy that she was missing for a good reason...she got married on 12-12-12. I'm excited that tomorrow is Friday and the beginning of another weekend as a family!

Drake has been going for a few hours each day without his cannula and we are working toward more. In pictures where he is not wearing the cannula, he still has the brown stickers which we use to secure the cannula tubing.

Laundry, Bottles & Diapers...Oh, My

So much to do and I know I try to accomplish too many things in one day. I say "try" because with two little babies in the house, all tasks do not get completed but they do get started. That's where I am today...several things started but only a few completed. Brian says I am trying to do too many things and that I should narrow it down to one thing each day. My problem is that I am able to complete the "one" project so I move on to the next, and then it's time to change a diaper, feed a baby, do their exercises, bathe them, read to them or just play. I am beginning to realize that Brian may be right, and I should be happy to have accomplished anything extra at the end of the day.

I love how much Drake and Kennedy love being a part of everything. Whether we are cooking dinner, making bottles, or cleaning dishes, they just want to be hanging out in the same room.

Moving On Up

Today I packed up their newborn clothes and replaced them with 3 month outfits. This reminded me of the day in the hospital when I packed up their preemie clothes to donate to other babies (except a few special outfits). Babies really do grow fast! Before we know it they will be moving up to the next size.

Drake excelled at his exercises today! When he does his tummy time on his boppy pillow, he pushes himself up with his arms and really gets his legs moving. Today he managed to push and kick himself until he was able to launch himself over his boppy. He is one determined little boy.

Kennedy is a happy baby girl! I love starting my days with her because even if I'm tired, when she is all smiles I can't help but be happy too.

Funny moment today...Harlee discovered that the baby bear mat makes a comfy dog bed!

One Month Post Discharge

Wow! Time sure does fly once you are home from the hospital! I can't believe a full month has past since we brought both of our babies home from the NICU. Before we "lived" in the hospital, I took things for granted. I never intended to, but just like the rest of the world I was caught up with my busy day to day life. My nice warm bed...which now seems huge, a bathroom that I don't have to share with strangers, the freedom to pick up my babies at any moment, the cool breeze and sunshine as I walk to get the mail, ect...I didn't even mind the freezing temperatures today.

Becoming parents of preemies has changed us. We never intended for this to happen, it just did. It is hard to explain to others, but we see things in life differently. I guess our perspective has changed.

We owe a HUGE thank you to the doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, and occupational therapists of Dallas Presbyterian Hospital!!! It was their unwavering care, hard work, compassion, skill and dedication to our two angels that has allowed us to be a family at home together this holiday season. For the gift of life they have given our babies, we are forever grateful!

Enjoyed Our Weekend

As another fun family weekend comes to an end, we prepare for the work week to begin. Brian is packed and ready to head to Houston at 4am, and tomorrow the count down begins of nights until Brian returns and our family is compete.

Drake and Kennedy are bathed and fast asleep in their room. I know Drake is excited that this week is free from doctors appointments, and I have to say that I am excited about that too. I hope our week goes by quickly so that we can enjoy another weekend together.

Recovering

Thank goodness for Saturdays...We spent today recovering from our busy week. Drake and Kennedy were worn out from their travels, and I was more tired than I realized. We all enjoyed the opportunity to nap as a family this afternoon.

Drake and Kennedy had us cracking up today. Brian's sister, Aunt Gigi, had given Kennedy an outfit that she got for her in Nashville. Kennedy was hamming it up in her individual pictures, but we discovered she was not as happy to share the spotlight with her brother. We also discovered it is much easier to take pictures of them separately than it is when they are together; however, when they are together it sure makes us smile.

My friends and former colleagues of Caldwell Elementary posted a sweet message for us on Facebook. The outpouring of support from my Caldwell family has been extremely heartwarming. It has been a privilege to work with such a fantastic group of educators, and I miss them very much.

Right now the house is quiet...The babies are asleep, Brian is asleep, Harlee & Ella are asleep and I think I better join them. Since tomorrow is Sunday, we are going to enjoy spending as much time with Brian as we can before he heads out for another work week.

Lesson Learned

We had quite the busy day today...3 doctors appointments for Drake throughout the Dallas Metroplex all in one day. First, I am thankful that my mom was able to keep Kennedy and that she drove late in the afternoon to meet me on the drive home with her. Second, I am thankful that Drake's nurse was able to go with us to each of his appointments. With all of the paperwork that I needed to fill out, it was nice to have someone to help with Drake.

We began at the eye doctor at 8:30 and were given good news...both of his eyes are fully developed! No more follow up visits! Next we were off to the pulmonologist. He was very impressed with Drake and how he is doing. He wants us to keep working on weaning him with the oxygen during the day but would like him to remain on oxygen at night. This will help him grow because he will not have to work so hard with his breathing. Did i mention that Drake was a perfect angel at his first two appointments?Last stop was the developmental doctor. She saw Drake several times while he was in the NICU and she sat down with Brian and me after we received his devastating diagnosis. Even though Drake was fed up with seeing doctors at this point in the day, he was still able to impress her.

In between visits we were working on his bottle feeds and putting the remainder through his feeding pump. We hit a snag when his feeding pump stopped working at the developmental doctor's office. We contacted the medical supplier and they sent someone out to meet us with a new pump. Thank goodness for their prompt action because a hungry and tired Drake would not have been any fun. With his tummy being filled, he slept peacefully the entire drive home.

We will be following up with the developmental doctor in February and next time Kennedy will be with us for her follow up. Drake will visit the pulmonologist again in March unless we have some concerns before that. However, next time I will make sure we don't have more than two appointments in the same day.

Shots

This morning we awoke and eagerly awaited the call from the doctors office letting us know the coveted Synagis shots had arrived. At 9:34am the call finally came. Our little angels were about to get their long awaited protection from the dreaded RSV. These shots are only good for 30 days and therefore must be repeated every 30 days during the RSV season (Oct-Mar, Apr, May) -- the season length is different every year. Drake and Kennedy were supposed to receive their shots on Nov 25th, and since today is Dec 6th it explains why I have been a little panicked about them. Especially since Drake has 3 doctors appointments tomorrow...meaning 3 different waiting areas filled will people and germs. I've never been so terrified of germs in my entire life!

We took two happy curious babies into the doctor's office for the shots and left with two heartbroken babies crying real tears. Yes, of course they received a multitude of shots while in the hospital, but I was never the bad guy who had to hold them down. I don't know who was more heartbroken.

Next up was our trek to McKinney to stay the night with Gran and Poppy. They live much closer to the appointments and Gran will be taking care of Kennedy while Drake and I visit with each doctor. Packing up twins is no small task, especially when you have to also pack oxygen tanks, tubing, feeding bags and a feeding pump. This was my first time to drive anywhere alone with the babies...needless to say I was nervous. Drake had been 48 hrs without the support of his oxygen, but shortly into our drive his monitor started going off and I had to pull over and get him set up with his oxygen tank and cannula. A little later in our drive, his monitor started going crazy and saying his heart rate was 30. I pulled over once again and this time found that his pulse-reader had come off of his foot. Crisis averted.

Having the extra hands once we reached our destination was nice. The best part was the home cooked meal thanks to Uncle Mikey! Now it is time for some rest before our long day of doctor visits tomorrow.

Still No Cannula!

Drake has officially made it 24hrs cannula free! So far, so good! Every first down is one step closer to independence from machines! We are so proud of his success, and he also took larger amounts of his bottles today before stopping and having to use the pump and Mickey Button. Over all, this has been quite a successful day.

Today also officially began Christmas in the Gilstrap home. The stockings are hung, the tree is decorated, except for the tree top, and wreaths and other decorations adorn the house. Mom and I worked diligently while the babies napped. Kennedy awoke first and immediately saw the changes. She looked all around and began to smile. It was so adorable!

The next two days will be busy and important. Tomorrow morning, we will be waiting on a call from the pediatrician's office telling us the Synagis shots are ready for both babies. We plan to be ready to go when they call. Then Mom and I plan to head to McKinney for the night. Drake has 3 doctor's visits on Friday. He and I will get an early start at the eye doctor for his follow up from the hospital. Then it is on to the pulmonologist and then the developmental doctor. Kennedy will stay at my parents and hopefully spend a little time with Aunt Meredith and Jacob. Then she and Gran will meet us at the last visit so we can head back home before the rush hour begins. Brian will be at home for this adventure, because work must go on.

I know both Gran and I will be very nervous having to drive with the babies. Please pray for safe travels and excellent check ups from all the doctors.

Trying Cannula Free

Drake has been doing so well today without his cannula that I am going to try making it through the night without it, too. It's almost midnight and he is off to a great start! If he ends up needing it at any point during the night, his alarm will definitely let me know.

Both Drake and Kennedy are doing a wonderful job with their daily exercises. Neither one of them are happy during tummy time, but they are getting stronger each day. Before we know it they will be rolling over and then crawling around the house. I'm looking forward to every minute!

Missing Brian

Having Brian here to help with Drake and Kennedy was such a blessing as we transitioned from the hospital to home. Now that he is back at work this week, I really miss having him here. Having to work is just a part of life and his job being in Houston is something we make work, but it doesn't change the fact that he is missed. I know this morning was difficult for him to leave us as well. It was before "bright and early" when he started his drive to Houston at 4am. He told me it made his day when he discovered a note from Drake and Kennedy with a picture in his car. We are counting down the days until the weekend when he is back home, and in the meantime i am thankful my mom is here to help me with Drake and Kennedy.

Two of my dear friends came by this afternoon and delivered dinner. Their timing was perfect because it fell between the babies feeds and they were both sleeping; this made it possible for me to visit for a little bit while my mom sat with the babies. It was wonderful to see them and catch up on the past 5 months! Visiting with friends/coworkers is one of the "normal" things that I miss so this was a real treat for me.

We are working toward weaning Drake off of his oxygen; therefore, we are lucky enough to snap some pictures with his cannula completely off. We also took a few pictures of little Miss Kennedy "Our Little Mermaid."

Dad's Headed Back to Work

Unfortunately, it is that time for dad to get back to work after an extended leave from work that was much needed with our new family. We have all 4 thoroughly enjoyed the past week of being together as a family every day and every night. Brian will head out at 4:30am to begin a regular work week in Houston. We are going to miss him as much as he is going to miss us, but he has to get back to work, and we will figure it out.

Having Brian's family here this weekend was so much fun! I even got out to the grocery store yesterday with my sister-in-law while Brian and Uncle Matt watched the babies; my, how you take the little things for granted. We had a fun afternoon hanging out with both Drake and Kennedy. Below are several pictures that we snapped today.

Fish Fry

Tonight we enjoyed a fish fry with Brian's family while they were here visiting. Brian and Papa caught the catfish yesterday morning before they got busy with work around the house. I can't believe how long it has been since we have all been together for a traditional Gilstrap family fish fry. Tonight felt like old times.

Our niece, Brian's sister's daughter, turned 9 years old today. Even though she still hasn't been able to see the babies, we were all able to do FaceTime with her this evening. Drake and Kennedy have enjoyed their quality time spent with Aunt Gigi & Uncle Matt. Aunt Gigi & I had fun dressing Kennedy & taking pictures today. We dressed Drake, but Kennedy was much more of a willing participant.

Pictures:

1) Kennedy
2) Aunt Gigi & Drake
3) Drake
4) Uncle Matt & Kennedy
5) Daddy & Kennedy